3.6.5

As I was searching for an old high school paper in my drawer today, I stumbled across an envelope, mailed to me from my 9th grade self. Inside was a “time capsule” letter, in which each student at that time had to write down certain facts and aspirations that we had at the time, and this letter would be mailed to us upon our graduation of high school. As I read through my “embarrassing” moments and goals for the future, I couldn’t help but laugh. I was a naive, and simple-minded girl (not to say that I’m not complicated now). Things that used to be so trivial have no importance to me now. SATs?! psh - who needs that? Joking.  But this letter got me thinking. I used to believe that I could do whatever I wanted to, as long as I work hard. But as the years have flown by (what the fuck?! I’m already a junior in college?!), I cannot help but feel disappointed in myself. There have been so many times I wish I could press a rewind button on life, and do things differently. I wish I studied harder. I wish I did not procrastinate as much as I did. I wish I was more careful (ie. my nose). I wish I could take back things that I’ve said.  The list is endless. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a rewind button, because the only thing that is constant in life is change. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, and although I’ve made so many mistakes throughout my college years, these scars (literally and figuratively) have helped me grow into the woman that I am today. It’s sad, to realize that half of my college career is over and these are supposedly the best years of our lives. I’m not really sure what to think. When I was younger, I figured that by the age of 20, I would have discovered my life calling and know exactly what was in store for me in the future. But here I am - a lost, confused, and struggling Cal student. As I wander around aimlessly, searching for that purpose, that passion, that focus that so many of my peers have; I can’t help but feel grateful to have people who give me such joy, support, and love each and everyday. Maybe it’s the fact that as I grow older, it becomes more of a reality that friends and family come and go throughout our lives, and how important it is to cherish every moment that I spend with them.  I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. My feelings are jumbled and I’ve been in a weird mood lately. But I guess writing this will remind me to make sure to appreciate everything that I have, and that things have their way of working out in the end.  Ugh, I sound like a fool. Someone slap me.

May 15
5/14/12
Mar 15

March thus far (Till 3/14/12)

INCREDIBLE Invite with Amy and Chen-Chen…too much fun :). & Of course I had to include a picture of the night where Andrew and I became the effin dream team and we owned at BP (since it’s a rare occasion for me ;) ) & of course…my birthday party. What a night. Wish I could include all of the 450 pictures that were taken that night but whatever, most of them are on facebook anyway. MORE TO COME DURING THIS WEEKEND WHEN I ACTUALLY TURN 20!

Lucy’s birthday shenanigans. Nose. Stitches. AW yeah livin’ this year up.

Mar 15
February.

I’ve definitely been slacking on this :(. It’s unbelievable how much has happened in the past 13 days that I haven’t posted anything…but I’ll definitely find some time this weekend to do a wrap-up of everything!

Feb 24
So….
Day Thirty-Nine, February 10th: Friday No class! Really chill day and was just catching up on work at home until it was time to head up to SK to get ready for PAHC clubbing with Lauren. Quickly dressed and walked down to Mark & Kevin’s apartment, pregamed and left for the club! The bus ride was insane - all the seats were empty because everyone was up in the middle aisle dancing. hahahaha craaaziness! Got to the club, danced, got fed 3 AMFs by NICK! -__- and the rest of the night….well…thank god for Lauren bahahhaa. this girl has seen me at my best and my worst ;). <3 
Feb 13

Day Thirty-Nine, February 10th: Friday

No class! Really chill day and was just catching up on work at home until it was time to head up to SK to get ready for PAHC clubbing with Lauren. Quickly dressed and walked down to Mark & Kevin’s apartment, pregamed and left for the club! The bus ride was insane - all the seats were empty because everyone was up in the middle aisle dancing. hahahaha craaaziness! Got to the club, danced, got fed 3 AMFs by NICK! -__- and the rest of the night….well…thank god for Lauren bahahhaa. this girl has seen me at my best and my worst ;). <3 

Day Thirty-Eight, February 9th: Thursday Regardless of how far we live from everyone and the fact that that we&#8217;re pretty much in one of the more ghetto areas of Berkeley, I can say that I&#8217;ll definitely miss this view that we get to see everyday. And it&#8217;s not like I&#8217;ll never see it again from wherever I live next, but it&#8217;s the fact that we live on the roof so it&#8217;s so convenient just to look out the window and see the sunset, or look across the bay on a beautiful day.  I always take the time at least once a day to stand outside and take everything in, and today was no exception. It gives me a chance to gather my thoughts and really think about everything that&#8217;s been happening lately and like yesterday, I suddenly felt a wave of content. I&#8217;m happy to be here in Berkeley, to be studying at the one of the top public universities in the nation, and to have the friends that I do who are supporting me 105% of the way. I wouldn&#8217;t trade this for anything, and even when things look like they&#8217;re going to shit, everything will work out in the end.  &lt;3
Feb 10

Day Thirty-Eight, February 9th: Thursday

Regardless of how far we live from everyone and the fact that that we’re pretty much in one of the more ghetto areas of Berkeley, I can say that I’ll definitely miss this view that we get to see everyday. And it’s not like I’ll never see it again from wherever I live next, but it’s the fact that we live on the roof so it’s so convenient just to look out the window and see the sunset, or look across the bay on a beautiful day. 

I always take the time at least once a day to stand outside and take everything in, and today was no exception. It gives me a chance to gather my thoughts and really think about everything that’s been happening lately and like yesterday, I suddenly felt a wave of content. I’m happy to be here in Berkeley, to be studying at the one of the top public universities in the nation, and to have the friends that I do who are supporting me 105% of the way. I wouldn’t trade this for anything, and even when things look like they’re going to shit, everything will work out in the end. 

<3

Feb 9

Day Thirty-Seven, February 8th: Wednesday

I apologize that I’m not using a picture that I actually took today, because I felt that these two pictures really describe how my day was today. SORRYI’MNOTSORRY.

Anyhow, I’m sad that I couldn’t find a better picture of Helen, Sachi, and I, but regardless I think it really depicts our love for each other ;). 

I’m so grateful to have these four girls in my life - two from home and two from this school year. They listened and helped me through shit going through my life, and I couldn’t be happier to confide in them with anything.

lovelovelovelove<3

Day Thirty-Six, February 7th: Tuesday Highlight of the day: FREE BURGER (with the purchase of a medium soda but it was only $1.80) at Pappy&#8217;s!!!!!!!!!!!!!  After the long four hours in lab with my tummy growling, I couldn&#8217;t wait to eat with Lucy &amp; Joey hehe. The burger definitely hit the spot :) Buuuut, it would not be worth 5 dollars regularly, so I&#8217;ll have to try Manhattan Grill&#8217;s burgers next since Joey said you get such a better deal and bigger burgaz ;).  Ugh, I&#8217;ve wasted so much time watching PLL and trolling and eating&#8230;time to get back to work :(. 
Feb 8

Day Thirty-Six, February 7th: Tuesday

Highlight of the day: FREE BURGER (with the purchase of a medium soda but it was only $1.80) at Pappy’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

After the long four hours in lab with my tummy growling, I couldn’t wait to eat with Lucy & Joey hehe. The burger definitely hit the spot :) Buuuut, it would not be worth 5 dollars regularly, so I’ll have to try Manhattan Grill’s burgers next since Joey said you get such a better deal and bigger burgaz ;). 

Ugh, I’ve wasted so much time watching PLL and trolling and eating…time to get back to work :(. 

Day Thirty-Five, February 6th: Monday Although I hadn’t seen Lauren and Lucy and them for about two days, it honestly felt like an eternity since I have hung out with them…so I was pretty excited to go up to the house and see them :). But before that, had plant bio at 3PM and hung around in Sachi’s apartment for a while and then went to dinner at SK and sat through the longessssst and most brutal meeting ever. Hung out in Lucy’s room with Lauren and Madison (“you look like virgin mary” &amp; “HOW DID MY GOOGLE TURN TO FRENCH?”-Lucy) and then went back home! Don’t want tomorrow to comeeeee :( OH. AND MY FRONT CAMERA ON MY IPHONE FINALLY STARTED WORKING AGAIN SOOOO I TOOK A PIC OF MYSELF OBVIOUSLY. 
Feb 8

Day Thirty-Five, February 6th: Monday

Although I hadn’t seen Lauren and Lucy and them for about two days, it honestly felt like an eternity since I have hung out with them…so I was pretty excited to go up to the house and see them :). But before that, had plant bio at 3PM and hung around in Sachi’s apartment for a while and then went to dinner at SK and sat through the longessssst and most brutal meeting ever. Hung out in Lucy’s room with Lauren and Madison (“you look like virgin mary” & “HOW DID MY GOOGLE TURN TO FRENCH?”-Lucy) and then went back home! Don’t want tomorrow to comeeeee :(

OH. AND MY FRONT CAMERA ON MY IPHONE FINALLY STARTED WORKING AGAIN SOOOO I TOOK A PIC OF MYSELF OBVIOUSLY. 

Day Thirty-Four, February 5th: Sunday Woke up, got Pasta Bene with Shawna (who copied me and ordered the same dish hehe) and Tanya and then walked Tanya to BART :(. Got notecards for Lyndsay and then walked back to FSM to drop it off when I got a call from Ze that he was in town. Soooo got thai food again (2nd lunch. i’m a fatass) and chilled for a while and then we departed and I stayed at FSM till 9:30PM with Lyndddddshhaaay. 
Feb 8

Day Thirty-Four, February 5th: Sunday

Woke up, got Pasta Bene with Shawna (who copied me and ordered the same dish hehe) and Tanya and then walked Tanya to BART :(. Got notecards for Lyndsay and then walked back to FSM to drop it off when I got a call from Ze that he was in town. Soooo got thai food again (2nd lunch. i’m a fatass) and chilled for a while and then we departed and I stayed at FSM till 9:30PM with Lyndddddshhaaay. 

Day Thirty-Three, February 4th: Saturday I’ve been eating so much thai food lately but that hasn’t stopped me from getting it at all bahaha. I met with Lyndsay at Racha Cafe and we had lunch, and headed over to FSM (my second home..?). I only stayed for about two hours or so, and then I walked back home to get ready for Bollywood Berkeley! At this point, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to the afterparty in SF or not, so I decided to just wear a sheer top, jeans, and boots. I walked over to Gaia apartments to meet Sagar and his other friends and we headed on over to Paramount Theatre to watch the show!  I’ve always wondered what the theatre itself looked like inside because I’ve seen the sign for the place since….forever. Surprisingly, it was really nice inside and the whole venue was filled! Caught up with Gunjan for a little bit and it was nice to see him again teehee and hung with Tanya and Namrata for the rest of the show. They didn’t have any food so luckily Avi had a car and he drove us to get Taco Bell (my crunch wrap supreme was heaven in my mouth) and we rushed to get on the bus to the afterparty in SF. dance dance dance and then avi drove us home (thank god) or else we would have had to cab back, and then shawneezy and tanya slept over!
Feb 8

Day Thirty-Three, February 4th: Saturday

I’ve been eating so much thai food lately but that hasn’t stopped me from getting it at all bahaha. I met with Lyndsay at Racha Cafe and we had lunch, and headed over to FSM (my second home..?). I only stayed for about two hours or so, and then I walked back home to get ready for Bollywood Berkeley! At this point, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to the afterparty in SF or not, so I decided to just wear a sheer top, jeans, and boots. I walked over to Gaia apartments to meet Sagar and his other friends and we headed on over to Paramount Theatre to watch the show! 

I’ve always wondered what the theatre itself looked like inside because I’ve seen the sign for the place since….forever. Surprisingly, it was really nice inside and the whole venue was filled! Caught up with Gunjan for a little bit and it was nice to see him again teehee and hung with Tanya and Namrata for the rest of the show. They didn’t have any food so luckily Avi had a car and he drove us to get Taco Bell (my crunch wrap supreme was heaven in my mouth) and we rushed to get on the bus to the afterparty in SF. dance dance dance and then avi drove us home (thank god) or else we would have had to cab back, and then shawneezy and tanya slept over!

Day Thirty-Two, February 3rd: Friday I’m always rushing, rushing, rushing. I honestly cannot think of a time when I hadn’t rushed over to BART, panting and frantically searching for a BART ticket in my purse before running down the stairs to get on the train. Needless to say, I found myself in this same situation as I ran over to the station to catch the train to my dad’s office. -____- I need to stop being late for everything.. Anyway, after my appointment I ate lunch with my momma and then headed back to Berkeley. Lyndsay and I were supposed to meet at FSM but I got super super lazy all of a sudden and we literally just skyped each other for three hours doing nothing and then got ready to go to karaoke! Let me tell you though, it’s no fun going with a someone who can actually sing…hahaha kidding. It was fun and then I met up with zee SKs at Delta Chi and Nayha, Lauren, and I hung out with two of the brothers later that night. Good night overall. Highlight though was Lauren jumping around with her broken heel bahahaa
Feb 8

Day Thirty-Two, February 3rd: Friday

I’m always rushing, rushing, rushing. I honestly cannot think of a time when I hadn’t rushed over to BART, panting and frantically searching for a BART ticket in my purse before running down the stairs to get on the train. Needless to say, I found myself in this same situation as I ran over to the station to catch the train to my dad’s office. -____- I need to stop being late for everything..

Anyway, after my appointment I ate lunch with my momma and then headed back to Berkeley. Lyndsay and I were supposed to meet at FSM but I got super super lazy all of a sudden and we literally just skyped each other for three hours doing nothing and then got ready to go to karaoke! Let me tell you though, it’s no fun going with a someone who can actually sing…hahaha kidding. It was fun and then I met up with zee SKs at Delta Chi and Nayha, Lauren, and I hung out with two of the brothers later that night. Good night overall. Highlight though was Lauren jumping around with her broken heel bahahaa

Day Thirty-One, February 2nd: Thursday  As usual, getting up was a beezy for chemistry. But as soon as I got to class, I swear, I&#8217;ve never felt so happy to be in class! I honestly had such a fantastic morning. It must have been the sunshine because it was so odd bahaha. After class, I headed to FSM to finish up a response that was due in the following hour for english and then I just chilled. Class was fine, and I had the rest of the day to hang out with Lyndsay :). We got wraps at Qualcomm (too much tuna for me), and walked over to FSM. I connected our backpacks together hahahahahha and it was so funny walking down because I&#8217;m pretty sure a lot of people saw..and were like wtf are these girls doing!? Anyhow, we sat around and attempted to do work till around 10PM. The workers are in LOVE with Lyndsay and it&#8217;s so awkward at times to be at FSM since all of them think Lyndsay and I are a couple, but oh well, it adds some excitement to our lives ;). Especially when we left and all of the workers turned and said &#8220;bye&#8221; to us&#8230;&#8230;.hahahahha. Walked to SK after and hung around with Lucy, Lauren, Lauren, &amp; Madison for a little and then went back home anddddd zZzzZ&#8217;d. &lt;3
Feb 3

Day Thirty-One, February 2nd: Thursday 

As usual, getting up was a beezy for chemistry. But as soon as I got to class, I swear, I’ve never felt so happy to be in class! I honestly had such a fantastic morning. It must have been the sunshine because it was so odd bahaha. After class, I headed to FSM to finish up a response that was due in the following hour for english and then I just chilled. Class was fine, and I had the rest of the day to hang out with Lyndsay :). We got wraps at Qualcomm (too much tuna for me), and walked over to FSM. I connected our backpacks together hahahahahha and it was so funny walking down because I’m pretty sure a lot of people saw..and were like wtf are these girls doing!? Anyhow, we sat around and attempted to do work till around 10PM. The workers are in LOVE with Lyndsay and it’s so awkward at times to be at FSM since all of them think Lyndsay and I are a couple, but oh well, it adds some excitement to our lives ;). Especially when we left and all of the workers turned and said “bye” to us…….hahahahha. Walked to SK after and hung around with Lucy, Lauren, Lauren, & Madison for a little and then went back home anddddd zZzzZ’d. <3

Day Thirty, February 1st: Wednesday  Long day today too :(. Nothing too excited happened today, besides this cool sunset Sachi and I saw when we walked outside of Pimental after our chemistry lab lecture. Day ended around 8PM and then I just headed back home and was too tired to do any homework so instead I caught up with three episodes of Pretty Little Liars :). 
Feb 2

Day Thirty, February 1st: Wednesday 

Long day today too :(. Nothing too excited happened today, besides this cool sunset Sachi and I saw when we walked outside of Pimental after our chemistry lab lecture. Day ended around 8PM and then I just headed back home and was too tired to do any homework so instead I caught up with three episodes of Pretty Little Liars :). 


Day Twenty-Nine: Tuesday  I always dread Tuesdays. It&#8217;s when I have lab, which takes up about 4 hours of the day and sooo long and tedious and I want to die. Class back-to-back till 5, and then I got chipotle again and then knocked out for 5 hours. oops!
Feb 2

Day Twenty-Nine: Tuesday 

I always dread Tuesdays. It’s when I have lab, which takes up about 4 hours of the day and sooo long and tedious and I want to die. Class back-to-back till 5, and then I got chipotle again and then knocked out for 5 hours. oops!